I used to consider myself a nature lover, but that all changed when the crazy poopin' bird made my car his home.
It all started one summer morning two years ago when I found my car covered with bird droppings. My car had been used by birds for target practice before, but never like this. The sheer amount of stuff was worthy of an entire flock of birds - but I soon discovered it was the work of a just one crazy cardinal.
The cardinal (whom my kids have since nicknamed "Frenzy") hangs out on my car's side-view mirror, apparently under the belief that his reflection is another male competing for his space. Rather than peck at the mirror, though, he tries to run off the intruder by regularly marking his territory. A lot.
After putting up with this for a few weeks, I bought a rubber snake and wrapped it around the mirror, hoping to scare him off. The next morning there was no sign of Frenzy's mischief - success! But it didn't last. A couple days later he started hanging out on the other mirror. So I put a snake on that mirror, too, thinking that two snakes would send him packing for good.
It didn't work. The next morning I came out to my car and found that he'd pooped on the snakes.
Then winter came around, and Frenzy disappeared. Months went by, and there was no sign of him. By springtime I'd almost forgotten about him, but he came back with a vengeance. Apparently he'd spent the winter months at a buffet because he was more productive than ever.
So what can I do to get rid of this crazy bird? I know that if I caught my neighbors pooping on my car, I'd shoot them. But I can't bring myself to harm this bird. He's simply doing what crazy birds do. I just want him to do it somewhere else, that's all.